Jesus said: "I have said these things [about God’s love and my love for you and the command for you to love one another] so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete." What was Jesus was talking about?

Most of us talk about joy in terms of being happy. In fact, many of us say joy or happiness is we want out of life. This desire for joy is such a common human longing that our nation's Declaration Of Independence lists the pursuit of happiness as one of the basic rights of all human beings.

Most of us, most of the time, tend to define joy or happiness in relation to getting the toy we want, or experiencing some pleasure we desire, or the accomplishment of some goal we have set. And these things do produce some amount of a certain type of joy. The problem is that as soon as the toy is no longer new, the pleasure is past, or the goal has been accomplished, our sense of joy or happiness evaporates as fast as summer rain on a hot sidewalk. And once again, we are left longing for joy or happiness.

My experience is that while longing for happiness or joy is very definitely part of the human condition, the real truth of the matter is that the more consciously and intentionally I pursue happiness and joy, the more I am aware of my lack of happiness and joy. I am convinced we do not find joy or happiness by pursuing it. Joy is what happens as a byproduct when we forget about pursuing it and focus on living as God intends.

I think this is a major part of what Jesus was trying to tell us when he made statements such as the first shall be last and the last first, or whoever tries to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for Christ's sake will find it. It is when we abandon self-centered living, that is, focusing on our own wants and desires, and focus instead on loving God and neighbor, that we experience—as a byproduct—the joy Jesus was talking about.

This joy, which is also mentioned in Paul’s writings, is not merely a joy to be experienced when life is all sunshine and cool breezes. Jesus was aware that dark and stormy nights are also part of life; tragedies, failures, disappointments, circumstances that destroy dreams, injustices that smash hopes—Jesus knew all this is as much a part of our lives as the days of accomplishments, wonderful surprises, fulfilled dreams, and amazing recoveries. The joy Jesus talked about is not only relevant in the sunshine times of life, but it is also a possibility in dark and stormy times. This joy is a quality and characteristic that shapes our living in all types of experiences—even in the worst of times, as well as in the best of times.

When I try to think of persons I have known whose living clearly reflected the joy Jesus was talking about, one of the persons I remember is Mrs. Baker. I have told Mrs. Baker stories before. Mrs. Baker was an elderly woman in the congregation I served in Mathis.

She had many problems; she lived in a lot of physical pain, and she knew a lot about disappointment, tragedy and heartache. Her husband was an invalid; it was said he had ruined his health drinking. Her daughter, who was in her forties, had a severe case of self-pity and walked through her days dressed in poorly camouflaged resentment and anger, blaming and shaming others—especially her mother—for all that was wrong in her life. Mrs. Baker struggled financially. Her primary source of income was baking pies that she sold to local cafés. As if this was not enough, Mrs. Baker suffered with severe arthritis that made walking difficult and painful, and not only that, she had lost her hearing. She could barely hear thunder, and although she wore a hearing aid, it was only when she could read someone's lips that she was able to understand.

A long suffering wife, a woman with daily pain from arthritis, almost totally deaf, and struggling to make ends meet, a mother who when her daughter was small had probably been like most mothers—less than ideal—and now was the scapegoat of her daughter some forty years later—this woman, Mrs. Baker, is one of the persons who first comes to mind when I try to think of persons whose living reflects the joy Jesus was talking about.

With all her problems, Mrs. Baker was able to deal with life and meet people with an amazing joy. This woman, who was far from perfect and who had many problems, did not see herself as a victim; she had no use for self-pity, nor was she resentful.

In the five years I was her pastor, I got to know her rather well, and I am convinced the key to the amazing joy that was just part of who she was, was that she got the message Jesus was trying to communicate in passages such as the one we read today. She did not pursue being happy. She pursued trying to love others as she understood God in Christ loved her.

In the early 1960’s, Mathis was a poverty pocket. Infant death and tuberculosis rates were among the highest in the nation. It was home base for many migrant workers in a day when improved farm machinery meant there was less and less demand for the work migrants could do. Mrs. Baker was more than a friend of the poor; she was their advocate. A child needed medical attention. Mrs. Baker did not rest and would not let others of us rest until that child got the medical attention that was needed. A family was out of food and hungry children were missing meals. Mrs. Baker did not rest and would not let others of us rest until there was some food on the table and someone who could speak Spanish was helping them learn how to get the little assistance government welfare had to offer.

Mrs. Baker was in many ways no saint. She was stubborn and a master manipulator of people. But in the five years I was her pastor, and the sometimes victim of both her stubbornness and manipulation, her efforts were never for herself and always for the sake of some person or family in need.

An objective and cynically realistic view might be that her efforts were so limited and the need was so vast that all her efforts really did not make much of a difference. But for some individuals and for some families, it did. She at least made it possible for them to take the next step when to them taking the next step seemed impossible. As best she could, with her limited knowledge, abilities and energies, she loved others regardless of who they were, as God in Christ loved her.

Unlike so many whose motives for helping the poor are to experience power, importance, self-righteousness or gain votes, Mrs. Baker simply and profoundly loved the people; she genuinely cared about them, and in caring about them tried as best she could to take care of a few of their needs. She was not a self-righteous do-gooder; she was a compassionate human being who wept genuine tears of concern in the midst of tragic situations, and who was able to experience great delight and joy in being able to do the little she was able to do in the face of overwhelming need.

I am confident Christ found joy in Mrs. Baker and that she experienced the joy Jesus was talking about. In a situation of much darkness, she found joy in lighting the candles she was able to light. She was not consumed with her life and its problems, although she dealt with her life and her problems. She was not focused on pursuing happiness. She put into practice much of what I think Jesus was talking about when he talked about losing our lives in order to find them.

It is something of a paradox that the more we want to be happy the less likely we are to achieve that goal, and that it is when we stop trying to be happy and get on with the business of trying to live as God intends us to live—striving to love others as God in Christ has loved us—it is then, Christ finds joy in us and we experience—as a byproduct—the joy Jesus was talking about.

 

God, regardless of the situation we are in, help us forget about trying to be happy and set us on the path of loving others as you in Christ have loved us, so that you may find joy in our living and we will experience the joy Jesus was talking about. Amen.

Pastoral Prayer:

God, we pray for all those who have the responsibility of being fathers. Give them the ability to love their children with love that can be tender when in needs to be and tough when it has to be. Give them wisdom to know when to talk and when to listen. Help them relax so that they will have the patience parenting requires. Save them from being so task oriented that they drain joy even from play. Rescue them from the drive to be competitive so that by example they can teach compassion and cooperation. Open their eyes to the humor in their lives and give them the ability to laugh, and give them the grace to cry when tears are called for. Give them the wisdom to see what is truly important so that they will be able to make the best use of the limited time they have been given.

And God, when they make a mess of things, when they say and do the wrong things, help them to forgive themselves and to learn from their past. God, help them be the parents you want them to be. And what we pray for fathers, we also pray for mothers—especially those mothers who must also fill the role of fathering their children.

All this we pray in the name of the one who in teaching us to live, taught us to pray: "Our Father …"