Signs of God's Grace:
Jesus And Our Doubts

Dr. James Mayfield
Tarrytown United Methodist Church

October 5, 2003

Text: John 20:24-29

Today I want to talk about Jesus and our doubts. Most of us, from time to time, have a lot in common with Thomas. We have difficulty believing Christ has risen. At stake is much more than believing a super miracle happened that first Easter morning. What is really at stake, why the issue is so very crucial is that the resurrection is the declaration that regardless of crucifixions in life, God wins - really wins. And it is this, we sometimes have trouble believing.

After all, crucifixions happen all the time and are clearly evident; the social quagmires created by sin fill our newspapers with bad news. We can see the chaotic and destructive consequences of selfishness, pride, ignorance and greed distorting and even destroying human life. It is obvious that on this side of the Garden of Eden, the good guys do not always win. Injustice is a reality at work in society, and by any sense of simple fair play, life is not always fair. Those who are most deserving all too often get the short end of the stick. Honesty is not always rewarded. And there are always con artists taking advantage of those who trust. The reality of the crucifixion is one we can more readily grasp because it is all too clearly evident in the world around us. But the reality of the resurrection is another matter.

I am confident Thomas was not being stubborn in his doubt. I suspect he wanted to believe it was true, that Jesus was raised by God from the dead. I am confident Thomas wanted to believe crucifixion was not the last word in life, that the sin and evil that gave rise to the religious bigotry and injustice that crucified Jesus had not won. Thomas wanted to believe what we want to believe -- that even the worst we humans can do cannot defeat God and God's purposes. My perception is that the dilemma of Thomas was he could not honestly believe what he really wished he could believe. He was not just being stubborn. He was just being honest and open. He knew himself so well, he knew he would not believe unless he saw some evidence.

How can we trust the grace of God when the dream, the hope, that gave our living direction, energy and purpose has been shattered? We need more than the enthusiasm of our friends telling us they have seen the Lord, and that, that means there is still hope, and therefore, the dream is still very much alive. We want to believe, but like the father of that boy who needed healing we also say to Jesus: "I believe; help my unbelief."

This is basically what Thomas was saying. "Help my unbelief. Unless I can see some evidence, I will not be able to believe."

So how did Jesus deal with Thomas and his doubts? How does Christ deal with us? For the longest time when I read what Jesus said to Thomas I imagined Jesus being somewhat upset: "Place your finger here. Now, place your hand there. Stop doubting and believe." But there is nothing in the passage to indicate Jesus was put out with Thomas. I am convinced my thinking Jesus was upset revealed more about me than about Jesus. I was somewhat put out with Thomas, or rather with myself for being so much like Thomas, so of course, I imagined Jesus was upset with Thomas - that is, with me.

Jesus came offering Thomas what Thomas needed so that he would be able to believe -- not merely believe another miracle had happened but believe, really believe that God had not and does not allow crucifixion and all crucifixion means to be the last word in life.

He came offering what Thomas needed, and Thomas believed. "My Lord and my God!" he exclaimed. Then Jesus said, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Do you believe because of evidence you can see with your eyes and touch with your hands? Is that what it takes for you to believe injustice and death are not the last words that sin and evil cannot win? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe."

Again, for too long, I read this statement of Jesus blessing those who believe without seeing was a sort of back handed rebuke of Thomas (that is to say, me). But I see now that statement was not a rebuke. It was a simple statement of truth. It was like saying, Kay Sparks is blessed with a special gift of music. That statement is not a rebuke of me; it is a declaration about Kay. Jesus was not saying something negative to Thomas or about Thomas when he said that those who believe without seeing are blessed. He was merely stating a truth.

I would not wish on anyone the parts of my journey as a young adult that were so Thomas-like. Although I experienced a lot that may have helped me later as a pastor, I would not wish anyone to go through what I went through as a young adult unable to see any purpose in my life or any purpose in life in general. It was not that I was in adolescent rebellion; but because of my experiences I had come to the point where I was unable to believe, not just about the miracle of Easter but what that miracle really means, and a byproduct of all this was, I was convinced life was not worth living. I would not wish that hellish experience on anyone. Even then I would have agreed with Jesus: "Those who can believe are blessed."

But just as Jesus did not abandon Thomas for doubting, the Christ did not abandon me Like Thomas, I kept hanging around disciples - church folks, imperfect people yet persons of faith. Sometimes they would tell me Christ was alive and God does win, and I would express my lack of belief in ways not too different from Thomas. But I kept hanging around; I stayed connected to the community of faith, even while I was empty of belief and burdened with doubt.

It took a while for the light to dawn. You will notice, Jesus did not come as soon as Thomas made known his doubt. It was some time later, that Jesus showed up. And so it was in my life. Eventually I became aware of the presence of Christ; it was the presence of the Body of Christ, the fellowship of faith. Through their words, I began to hear the Word. Through their caring, my soul began to heal. Through our coming together around a table such as this, I began to sense the awesome holiness of God and to experience the amazing mystery of grace. Through all this and more I gradually became aware of the presence of the risen Christ, and was able to declare with integrity "The Lord is risen. The Lord is risen indeed. There is hope. God does win."

Yet, blessed are those who can believe without having go through what I did.

God, as we gather at this table with our brothers and sisters all around this planet, make us aware once again that Christ has risen, that the cross is not the last word and that regardless of the way it may look, there is hope because in Christ you have shown us sin and evil cannot and will not win. Amen.

Pastoral prayer:

God, we thank you for this special day when we focus on the truth that by your grace we are in Holy Communion with Christians all around this planet. We are enriched by the awareness that even though we may not agree with all Christians regarding the best way to talk about the Gospel or about styles and strategies of ministry, we are united with all Christians everywhere by a common faith. For this unity of faith in Christ that binds us together regardless of our differences, we are grateful. Teach us, O God, how to listen, really listen, to one another so that we are able to learn from one another. Rescue us from squabbles that distract us from our mission and detract from our ministries. Enable and empower us to overcome misunderstandings and to bridge the gaps between us. Help us, O God, truly to love one another. We are aware the world needs the Gospel. Protect us from being so focused on what is secondary that we ignore what is primary. Rescue us from our jealousies, envies and fears that keep us from cooperating with one another in making the God's grace in Jesus Christ known to the whole world. Protect us from being so busy being religious in our own unique ways that we fail to faithful to the mission you have given all of us. In the name of the one prayed that we be one with our sisters and brothers in the faith, we pray. Amen.