Worth RememberingDr. James Mayfield November 7, 2004
Text: Hebrews 12:1-3 In my first pastorate, a young mother came to see me. She was quite concerned. I don't know what to say to our four year old daughter. My mother died, and the two of them were very close. Early in my ministry, I worried about giving the right answer and coaching the parent in choosing the right words to say. Then, across the years, I observed parents say what in my opinion was terrible theology, yet the children dealt with their grief in a very healthy way. And at other times, I observed just the opposite -- parents saying what I was convinced were all the right words, and yet the children did not deal well with their grief. From experience, I have learned that the words parents say to their children about grandmother's death has some importance, but it is not nearly as important as the way the parents personally deal with death. It is not their statements about faith that make the major impact on the small child; it is the faith the parents live that matters most. If the parents trust God and face death without fear, the child picks up on that -- regardless of the adequacy or the inadequacy of the parents ability to talk about their faith. Children, especially small children, are less tuned in to the words the parents say than to the emotional and spiritual life behind and underneath whatever they say. The witness that is important to children has more to do with the faith the parents live than with the beliefs they recite. I suppose many of us have heard the old saying: The Gospel is caught more than it is taught. While I have some mild discomfort describing the Gospel as if it were a disease, I believe that statement points toward a basic and profound truth. We are not argued into faith. Exactly how the Gospel, the good news of God's grace, is embraced by faith is something of a mystery. It takes more than eloquent words to enable us to live our lives trusting God --especially in the hard times. Faith happens by the grace of God -- exactly how is hard to say. I hesitate to compare the Gospel to a cold, but the truth is, just as we catch a cold from other people, we catch the Gospel from other Christians. This is part of what the story about the child, her mother and grief is all about. The child's faithful, trusting response to the crisis of grief is less related to the words her mother said than to the faith her mother lived. If what the child senses in the attitude and behavior of the parent is fear and the anxiety of profound mistrust, the parent's theological eloquence is irrelevant. It is the parent being a role model of faith that most enables the child to deal with the crisis of grief in a healthy way. As we grow into maturity -- physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually we do not outgrow our childlike need for role models of faith. To be sure we need teachers to help us understand the Gospel. But we most especially need role models whose living reflects the Gospel. Even as adults we need persons to be for us what that child whose grandmother had died, needed her mother to be. We need role models of faith whose daily living is an unpretentious reflection of their confidence in God and their commitment to Christ. Today is the day we have set aside to remember and thank God for those who have had a positive impact on us -- most especially those who have died and yet continue to influence us through our memories of them. But our cloud of witnesses also contain others who are living still. What are the characteristics of those living and dead, whose life-witness calls us to faithfulness? What can we learn from them that will enable us to be a similar positive influence on others? In Galatians 5:22, Paul identified the characteristics of persons whose living enables them to be role models of faith: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, gentleness and self-control. The persons whose memory I cherish, have at least some of these characteristics, if not all of them. And when these qualities, these fruits of the Spirit, describe our living, our lives are also worth remembering. So let's look briefly at each of them. Love . The kind of love Paul was talking about is agape. Agape type of love does not refer to feelings of romance or even friendship but rather to the behavior of giving oneself for the good of others. Some who are in my cloud of witnesses expressed their agape love in helpful deeds; some opened my eyes to a better way of understanding life; some loved me enough to hold me accountable; some served me simply by being there when I needed them. In a variety of ways, a variety of people have given of themselves for my good; and in their living the life of agape love, they have born witness to the grace of God. Joy . In their giving of themselves, not only for my good but also for the good of others, they did so with a sense of joy. They did what they did, without any sense of drudgery or mere duty. It was as if they realized, that it was in giving of themselves for others that they found their fulfillment. Peace . Those whose living has spread the wonderful virus of the Gospel are persons who are at peace. They are at peace with God and themselves. They are whole, and therefore have no need for pretense. Their approach to life is not distorted by anxieties, fears, or low self-esteem. They know themselves as children of God, and are at peace. Patience . Because of their confidence in God, they are persons with patience. They are not defeated by delays. They do not quit when they do not immediately see the results of their efforts. They are patient, not because of their genes but because of their confident trust in God. Kindness . Because of God's grace at work in them, those in my cloud of witnesses are kind. Grace at work in their lives leads them to be kind in dealing with others, especially those who are obviously struggling with problems and bad times. Generosity . Because the kind of love revealed in Jesus is so much of who they are, their kindness and compassion stimulates their generosity. Those in my cloud of witnesses are persons who freely share whatever they have to share. Gentleness. Those in my cloud of witnesses have been gentle with those who were bruised by life -- including themselves. They did not beat up themselves or others when things went wrong and failures happened.. They were more concerned to bring out the best in others and in themselves than with chastising for failures. Self-control . They lived disciplined lives. They are not blown about by this whim and that. They lived and are living with a focus, and that focus is on Christ. This is what is at the core of their self-control. They stay focused on the main thing. Those who are in my cloud of witnesses are persons whose living has been characterized by these fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, gentleness and self-control. And I am convinced, when these are the characteristics of our daily living, we too will live lives worth remembering. God, thank you for those who have been for us witnesses to the Gospel. May we so respond to you that the way we live reveals your amazing grace to others. Amen. Pastoral prayer,
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