On Having A Listening Heart

Robert Hall
Tarrytown United Methodist Church

August 20, 2006

Text: I Kings 2:2-10; 3:3-14

We may have learned be suspicious of prayers of petition---asking God for what we need or want. We may find it not so hard to pray for others, for what they need, but we may feel that praying for what we may need or want is too selfish. Prayers of thanksgiving or confession fall from our lips more readily, too. Petitions to God seem too much like Christmas gift wishes. If we are adults, we may think that we ought to be able to go out and get what we want rather than ask someone else to provide. We have seen too much, also of the TV preachers who claim that if you love God and send them money, you will get every thing you have ever wanted.

But it may be that our reticence to ask for things is because we would have to be more personally aware of our needs and wants, and this can be depressing. Better to keep those private thoughts to ourselves rather than to share them with anyone, even with God.

Or, we may have convinced ourselves that God does not answer personal prayers anyway, and so why bother. After all, God has got a whole universe to run, and who am I to be bothering the Lord with the seemingly insignificant events of my own life. God cares about big things and I ought to pray only for those: world peace, and end to poverty, etc.

Roberti Bondi has said that the hardest part of the Lord’s Prayer for her was the beginning words, “Our Father….” The word “our” meant Roberta, too, as well as every other person on earth. She had been taught, early on, that she was not that important, and that she should always put other’s needs and wants above her own. Besides, if you are really smart, you should not have to ask for help from anyone, even from God.

What she came to learn, over time, is that she was included in the “our.” She began to admit that her strong reluctance to accept help from anyone for anything had affected her relationship to God, too. And she began to notice that, in the Bible, individuals were always asking for help from God. In the Psalms, for example, King David and others would pour out their hearts to God, in adoration, praise, confession----and, yes, even in petitions for what they needed.

There may be times in our lives when unusually heavy responsibilities are thrust upon us and we begin to pray for help in spite of our hang-ups. What parent among us has not come home from the hospital with a little one and come to the realization that she is way over her head, and prays, “Lord, I need help here. This being a mother is more demanding than I ever imagined.”  Or, you walk into a classroom for the first time and the ninth graders look up at you with that “I dare you to teach me anything” look, and you know you will need more savvy than they ever taught you in college. More than once, I have visited with Building Committee chairpersons after their first meeting, and they have said, “You didn’t tell me what this was going to require of me; I’m not sure I am up to the task.”

In circumstances like these, you begin to hope that petitionary prayers are not just a talking to the wind, and that someone is listening and can help!

Such was the case with King Solomon, I believe. How would you like to follow King David?! David was bigger than life, the apple of God’s eye. He is remembered as the epitome of kingship. Under David’s leadership, the various tribes were brought together into one nation, Israel’s enemies were brought under control, and Jerusalem was established as the center of religious and political life. For 40 years, he was the ruler. Of course, his reign was not without its crises----and he was a man with great weaknesses and failings. But he was a legend in his own time.

As he is on his death bed, David calls Solomon in and blesses him, with Bathsheba and Nathan’s help, as the heir to the throne. After some bloody business in dealing with David’s old enemies, and Solomon’s half-brother, Solomon is firmly established as King. (The passing-on of power in Israel, however “chosen” they were, was much like the other nations.)

Solomon, who “loved the Lord” goes to one of the “high places,” Gibeon, to offer sacrifices. We all have our “high places” don’t we, even if they may be on the sea shore. They are the places in our lives where we go when we need to clear our heads, think things through, pray or contemplate, or merely be still. We especially need places like this when we are in a time of transition and we are not where we used to be but not yet where we are either. Surely much was on this young man’s mind as he went there to ponder the burden of leadership in the tradition of his father. (Much like Jacob, in distress as he return to meet Esau and has a wrestling match with a God-representative.)

While there, the Lord whom he loves appears to Solomon in a dream. Now unlike other dream revelations, God does not issue a call and tell Solomon what to do. No, to our astonishment, the Lord asks him, “What shall I give you? Tell me.” (NEB) Or “Ask what you would like me to give you.” (JB)

I wish I could know how long a time elapsed before Solomon answered! Was he prepared for this? But, then, how can you be prepared for this offer? Was this a test by God, to see what kind of a man Solomon is? (David has told Solomon, “be a man!” But what kind of man.

Now kings need many things: money, money, money; political power, a loyal army, good health, eloquence, ruthlessness, deliverance from his enemies, to name just a few that come to mind.

 But Solomon gives the now famous answer.
He acknowledges that he is in way over his head (“I am only a child”—actually early 20s-a child by comparison with King David.) It is a great and powerful nation. He says, “I do not know how to go out or come in,” or, I do not know how to act, or, if he were a lawyer: “I don’t even know yet where the courthouse is.” He also says that God has made him the king, when, it seems, David has done this; but he believes God’s hand has been in this choice. That is, he has been drafted into this role. True or not, he is reminding God, “You made this “happen, not I!” Then the famous request:

Give me, therefore, an understanding mind to govern thy
 people, that I may discern between good and evil.”

This key phrase is variously translated: “an understanding heart,” “a heart that listens,” “a God-listening heart,” “a heart that hears,” “an attentive mind.”

Solomon says that he wants this gift because “who is able to govern this vast people of yours.” Not my people. Yours!

Well, if this is a test by God, Solomon passes the test, for sure. God gives him “a heart so wise and understanding that there has never been anyone like you up until now.” And, because you haven’t asked for the usual things kings pray for, I’ll give the rest to you as well: riches and glory. “And, if you follow me by keeping my statutes and commandments, as your father David did, I will give you a long life.” (NAB)

The gift which Solomon is granted is the ability to listen carefully to people and read between the lines, and the ability to pay careful attention to what is going on with the people; and the gift to be so imbued with the statues and commandments (the presence and principles of God), that he will be able to make wise decisions.

Take note here: This is probably the high point of his reign! So much went wrong later on, when he seemed to forget this gift of wisdom--- so much so that, by the time his reign was over, the country split into two kingdoms: high taxes and forced labor, even of his own people, could not make up for the grandeur and economic prosperity of the country---or for the great traditions of knowledge and wisdom that Solomon promoted.

But he really started out with the right response to God’s question. He asked for the ability to carry through on his responsibility for the just and prudent rule of God’s chosen people, rather than for his own private gain or glory.

The fact that God was willing to give Solomon the listening heart and mind that he needed means there is hope for all of us. Solomon was a flawed king to put it mildly.  But “God responds to imperfect love---and summons [us] to love and obey.” (New Interpreters Bible) We sometimes do and we sometimes don’t. But we are asked to continue in the way and never stop starting again.

You and I are not kings and queens, though we may fantasize! But we are, each of us, by choice or providence, brought into roles or vocations which can seem overwhelming. It may be that our greatest challenge is how to govern ourselves with listening hearts!  Everybody leads in some way or the other. What if the offer which God made to Solomon is the offer which God makes to each of us?

In the role or task which you are now in, God may say,“Ask something of me and I will give it to you.”

We may need more knowledge, more facts. We may need to know what the rules are. But we may, like Solomon, need a listening heart more than anything else.

Having a listening, wise heart, is different from simply hearing noises and sounds. Listening is being attentive lovingly to others. In praying, it may mean waiting upon God in loving expectancy, in openness, without anticipating a specific message. Wisdom will mean being aware that, in ourselves, we are inadequate.

The exercise of the gift of wisdom requires keen observation of what is happening with people, and the ability to measure your response to fit the situation. (One has written that biblical wisdom is more akin to that which is now called emotional intelligence than IQ.) Being wise may require silence, or gesture or a proverb or maxim. (Von Rad) “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11) When we can have hearts which listen, we can be a blessing in a world where most people are too busy or too distracted to take the time.

The wisdom Solomon prayed for brings to mind the book Leadership Without Easy Answers by  Ron Heifitz. He calls attention to how hard it is to be a leader and how impatient we are with those who are in leadership positions today. We live under the illusion that, if we can just elect or choose the right person, then that leader will solve all of our problems and lead us into the promised land. We usually want them to do this with very little help from us and with no sacrifices on our part. Those who do not work such wonders are quickly fired and replaced, usually by those who discount the difficulty and promise easy answers which do not cost us anything. We do this over and over again in the political realm.

In such an environment, institutions need most of all persons who can practice the art of leading where there are often no easy answers. Whether the institution is the church, various levels of government or the independent sectors, the cry is for those who have listening, discerning hearts, who “do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God.”(Micah) Can the church of Jesus Christ can raise up leaders of the future---women and men who are so grounded in their self-worth, who are so aware of being loved by God no matter what, and so wise in their judgments that the common good will be well-served? What if Jesus’ words are true: “Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Can we nurture our children and youth in truth of this admonition. The church and the world cry out for people with attentive minds and listening hearts.

Since the roles of leaders are so fraught with difficulty nowadays, can we offer to those who are leaders the “high places” like Gibeon, where they can draw aside and be open to God’s counsel and comfort?

Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leading is Rom Heifetz’s latest book. In it, he speaks of the value of maintaining a “sacred heart.” “The virtue of a sacred heart lies in the courage to maintain your innocence and wonder, your doubt and curiosity, and your compassion and love, even through your darkest, most difficult moments. Leading with an open heart means that you could be at your lowest point, abandoned by your people and entirely powerless, yet remain receptive to the full range of human emotions without going numb, striking back, or engaging in some other defense.” (pages 227-228)

In the Book of Proverbs, we are told that “the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord.” (Proverbs 1:7) If we understand that “fear” is a profound reverence and awe for God and the things of God, I believe this is true. This is certainly what Solomon demonstrated. Only when we are aware of our Creator can we rightly see our world and ourselves in perspective.

Along with this fear of God, Jesus teaches us there must be the  love of God and the love for those things which God loves. The one we hold in awe is finally the one who is Immanuel, God with us. Abiding in Jesus Christ, we may be free enough to ask for that which we need, and humble enough to receive the listening heart which God would give each of us.