Careful Talk

Robert E. Hall
Tarrytown United Methodist Church

September 17, 2006

James 3: 1-12

Martin Marty, Lutheran pastor and scholar, has written this about the Letter of James:

“Let the first chapter of Colossians dazzle you for a while; let your imagination soar and your head spin. Be elevated and levitated with John’s gospel. But then, [the Letter of James] reminds us, remember that there are widows next door. The rich are exploiting the poor. People are backbiting and slandering each other. They need to be called into line.”

Marty also calls attention to the fact that Soren Kierkegaard, the 19th century Danish Christian, thought highly of the Letter of James. “For him, it counterbalanced all the easy- going Christianity of cheap grace that was on the point of destroying the faith….”

The Letter of James is a book of moral counsel, “guidance for Christian pilgrims on their way to a better place….” The author is blunt and straight from the shoulder, even though he is careful to set himself alongside his brothers and sisters in the Christian community. It is as if he is saying, “We have enough talking about God’s way. Now we need walking in it. We can be worded to death; we need some deeds.” (Martin Marty, Good News in the Early Church, 1976)

Last week, we heard James call us to account for our behaviors regarding the poor: that we are called upon not to play favorites by treating the rich with respect while disrespecting the poor; and that we must love our poor neighbors by actively seeking to minister to and with them in the needs. We are to be single-minded in our love for God and neighbor, not saying one thing and doing another.

Remember: knowledge of the good news of the transforming love of God is assumed by James. This letter is the kind of moral instruction the prodigal son needs to hear in the days after the big banquet celebrating his return! When God asks us to do something, God will give us the strength to do it.

James is careful to tell us that words spoken are deeds. If faith without works is a dead faith, then faith without words spoken or communicated is also a dead faith. Speech or other forms of communication is a resource to be used. But, though the tongue can be a tool for doing good deeds, we would be foolish to think this will be an easy accomplishment. James wants to warn us about our talk, our tongues. Our tongues are inclined not to follow our best intentions.

James is deeply influenced by the wisdom literature of his Hebrew heritage-- sage advice especially to people on ways to live the good life and to avoid being a fool. The assumption is that living wisely and living well are synonymous, because we will be acting in ways which are consistent with our true nature as creatures lovingly made by God.

So, the careful use of language is a sign of wisdom. For example, from Proverbs:

15: 1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
15:7: “The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the minds of fools.”
15:23: “To make an apt answer is a joy, and a word in season, how good it is!”
And from Psalm 39: “I will keep a muzzle on my mouth…I will watch how I behave and not let my tongue lead me into sin.”

Early in the letter, James has told us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to human anger.” (1:19) He has warned us that “nobody who fails to keep a tight rein on the tongue can claim to be religious---this is mere self-deception; that persons’ religion is worthless.” (1:26) Now, he writes a brief essay on the dangers associated with our verbalizing.

These are forceful and discouraging words! He singles out those who would be teachers (like clergy!) in the community of faith (though his words are applicable to all believers). Then he piles metaphor upon metaphor to describe what a rascal our tongue can be: like a rudder of a ship without a captain; like a horse without a bridle. We open our mouths and fire comes out; we praise God and then curse people made in the likeness of God. What a dangerous tool the spoken word is! And then he says that “no one can tame the tongue…” We are all going to make mistakes, because we are not perfect.

This is enough to make me want to adopt silence as a way of life!

What James is getting at here is more than remaining silent, however. What he is calling for integrity of soul and mind . When we are led by God in our lives, if we are infused with the love of God, then we are urged to close the gap between what we say and the intentions we have in our hearts. We need “singleness of heart to will one thing:” the glory of God and the love of neighbor. (Kierkegaard)

What a gift language is! I love words myself. I can still remember the time I read the word “comprehensive” on a collection of flip-chart maps. What a wonderful word! I fell in love with language and have loved words instead. I love aphorisms, short pithy saying which convey a truth. And yet, how crucial that I learn to use words carefully!

We know this to be true. “Timely, well-chosen words can preserve friendships, bring reconciliation with others and please God. Hasty, ill-chosen words can wreak havoc in personal relationships, harm God’s people and bring God’s judgment.” (Lectionary Commentary, Epistles)

The old saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” must have been first said by someone who was deeply hurt precisely by words. Words can wound and cripple; words unspoken, can be withheld from persons who are dying to hear them spoken.

So words spoken, written or signed are a wonderful resource. But the currency of words has been depreciated in our culture. Henri Nouwen said it this way:

“Wherever we go we are surrounded by words: words softly whispered, loudly proclaimed or angrily screamed; words spoken, recited, or sung; words on recordings, in books, on walls, or in the sky; words in many colors, many sounds, or many forms; words to be heard, read, seen, or glanced at; words which flicker off and on, move slowly, dance, jump or wiggle….They form the floor, walls and ceiling of our existence.”

We live in a world of words. Words are cheap. They tend to lose their power. Words become “mere words.” In a world of almost compulsive “sharing,” of our thoughts and feelings, we may grow simply too tired to think before we communicate. We have become wary of slippery half-truths in advertising and politics.

E Mail, a wonderful time-saving method of communicating, has made it possible for us to send messages immediately upon thinking of them, even before we have considered the effect on the receiver. And hasty talk can be forwarded to countless others with two or three clicks of the mouse. I know of people who worship together and live in close proximity but who “duke” it out through e mails over a period of months---while never speaking to each other when they are in the same room.

James’s advice to us may seem obvious. But his exhortation to get control of our tongues is an example of his larger agenda--- his encouragement of fellow Christians to “be developed into whole and healthy human beings who can be trusted for many kind of activities.” (Marty)

The answer resides in connecting grace and striving.

Yes, we are saved by the sheer, unmerited mercy and grace of God. We are always, simultaneously, saved and sinner (Martin Luther). When we get to thinking that we have kept all the rules and thereby proven that we are the kind of folks Jesus wants to hang out with, we are headed for a fall! We can’t use our works to win God’s favor. All we can do is come, just as we are, and ask for forgiveness.

But the fruit of such trust in God’s mercy is a soul that is restless to grow ever more closely to God, to stretch into the “full aliveness” that God has in mind for us. And this means that we will want to strive to be better persons, more mature persons (the real meaning of perfection.) Though our tongues may always be prone to wildness, we can learn, with God’s Holy Spirit working within us, to “hold our tongues,” and, more importantly, to speak words which build up and not tear down, even if we will have to wait for perfection in this arena of our lives.

John and Charles Wesley wrote about the “restraining and renewing influence of the Holy Spirit.” We need the refreshment and comfort of the Spirit; and, often, we need the Holy Spirit to remind us to think before we speak and to live up to and into the person God is making of us. This is spiritual re-formation.

What we strive for is integrity: “a relationship with God which operates out of God-given wisdom, friendship and allegiance with God alone.” (Texts for Preaching)

One man has written that he may never be a perfect husband, but he cannot use this as an excuse for not trying to be. So it is with our language: our communications, spoken or written.

I think of several ways in which James’ warning apply to me. Maybe for you, too.

I need to be careful in the ways in which I talk to myself, especially when I am giving myself a tongue-lashing.

In the early days of a pop psychology called transactional analysis, we learned that much of our self-criticism may come from “parent tapes,” messages we heard from parents or others in our childhood. Messages like “You are just stupid,” or “You’ll never get it right.” Some remembered messages may be comforting at times, but they can also be destructive. The next time you berate your self, ask if you would dare to say to another that which you are saying to yourself. If you are a child of God, created and redeemed by God through Christ, you will want to have more patience with your self. There are times when I need to tell my self that I was being foolish, or that I am guilty of sin. But if our self-address tends to be rountinely and predictably harsh and destructive, we need to find ways to demonstrate an appropriate love for ourselves---for we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves..

I need to be called to grow in the ways I talk to God. Maybe I need to learn to talk to God at all. To be honest to God about who I am. Prayerful silence in God’s presence is one way I have learned to commune with God.

I have noticed that the way I talk with God reveals to me my relationship with God. Sometimes I talk to God like God is the head of the cosmic complaint department. Other times, God is like a cruel bully, or like the school vice-principal, or like a scolding parent, or like an employer I am trying to impress with my brilliance..

Strangely enough, it seems that our communication with God is affected most by the practice of silence. “Silence guards the fire within.” Spending time in silence with God can help us care for the life of the Spirit within us, so that when we do have occasion to speak, we will be more likely to have something truly wise to say. ( Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart)

One man gives this interpretation of the story of Moses and the burning bush. Why did God choose to get Moses’ attention by causing a bush to burn but not be consumed? Creator God could do many things much more spectacular. A burning bush is almost a parlor trick. Maybe God chose the burning bush because he was testing Moses: it would take time to watch to see if the bush that was burning would not be consumed. God wanted a leader who could wait in silence and listen for what might be an explanation. Words would come later. (Moses protests, remember, that he is an a good speaker.) (Gil Rendle of Alban Institute told this story; I do not remember the source.)

Then there is the way I talk about others. Do I need to say more? How many times have I inflicted wounds on others by gossip I have passed on, by harsher judgment of others than I would ever desire for myself.

Sometimes such talk about others is deliberate and calculated; other times such talk is casual---it just pops out of our mouths before we can think. The fact that trash-talking is now a sport in some circles, and that lies and half-truths have become the currency of some political campaigns can entice us to join in the fun. But such a practice only contributes to the coarseness of our times. We become a part of the careless incivility of common discourse. In Exit 36, a novel by Robert Capon, the church warden (custodian) is always being told the church gossip. His way of dealing with all this juicy information is to place it “in the incinerator of his silence.” Not bad counsel; and it shows that our tongues knows who is boss!

The way I talk to others can be constructive or destructive. Even when I disagree and argue, my talk can be loving and helpful.

Especially in our closest relationships, within our families and within the church, we are called upon to speak the truth in love. Part and parcel with learning how to talk with others is the task of learning how to listen to others. How often do we give diagnosis and remedy before we have ever listened to the ailment of the friend?

Well, James has quit preaching and gone to meddling again!

But how much we need to hear his warning about the wildness of our tongues and the necessity of allowing God’s grace to work on us and in us in the everyday practice of speaking!

Maybe the Apostle Paul was giving practical advice when he said that we should “pray without ceasing.” An older friend of mine told me that, the older she gets, the more she prays over everything. The literal translation of “pray always” is “come to res,” Says Henri Nouwen. Perhaps such resting involves the tongue as well as the soul.