Keeping The Space Open

Tanya Eustace
Tarrytown United Methodist Church

November 18, 2007

As a probationary deacon working towards ordination in the Methodist church, I have spent the last 6 months working on my theological project. As part of this journey, my theological tutor suggested that I spend time praying over Matthew 19:13-15. Since I had heard and studied this text many times she asked me to spend the next 6 months looking at this text with new eyes, and so I did. Over the last several months this text has found it’s way into many Sunday School classes, pre-teen camp sermons, discussions, and of course my theological project presentation. I began to realize that Jesus has a lot to say about children in these three short verses. In fact, today’s scripture provides a perfect pericope for an entire sermon series on Jesus’ theology of children. However, since we only have today, and since I promised the 3rd-5th graders that I’d keep this short and to the point, I’m going to focus on the beginning of verse 14.

In today’s scripture, Jesus takes a passionate stance in honor of and in advocacy for children. In verse 14 Jesus uses the imperative verb form to make his point. In the Greek, the verbs “let” and “do not stop” are commandments. Jesus is not asking, we’re not given a choice. He is sending a strong message to the disciples, to the on looking crowds, to the readers… and to us. This is one of the reasons I like the Gospel of Matthew- in addition to documenting the life events of Christ, the author also demands a personal response from the reader. Christ’s commandments call us to action… In response to these commandments I found myself asking: 1.) Why does Jesus warn us against stopping/hindering children in their spiritual journey, and 2.) what do we do that stops/hinders children?

Children are experiential by nature. They do not live in their head, but instead respond to the world around them. Everything they experience effects them in some way, shape, or form. Children are also born with an innate spiritual awareness. They are a reminder that we start this journey in relationship, embracing Gods presence; living in the hope for all God has to offer. In my opinion, this is what it means to be created in the image of God. Children yearn for this closeness with the Almighty, and they trust in the Holy One’s presence. This resilient faith appears in children’s questions, their conversations, and their actions. As they live into their awareness, it is either affirmed or denied by their experiences.  In verse 14, Christ’s commandments affirm and protect these faithful qualities of the child.  Can you imagine what it would feel like to be a small child, running up in excitement, only to be banned, pushed aside, rebuked, and sent away? Christ is warning the disciples against creating a situation where the children will be rejected or feel that they are unimportant. Christ’s demands ensure that the children will have positive experiences that affirm, support, and encourage their faith as they live into this awareness.

As I reflected on this passage, on the innate spiritual characteristics of children, and on our need to provide positive experiences, I began to reflect on my own faith journey. I began to wonder: “How did I end up here—who fostered and nurtured me as a child?”  ]I grew up at First United Methodist Church in Midland, TX. I’ll never forget the many years of Sunday School, weekday activities, receiving my 3rd grade bible or taking my confirmation vows as a 6th grader. I still remember decorating the church for advent, serving as a Christian clown, traveling with the youth group on mission trips, ski trips, and choir concerts. The church was a safe place- somewhere I wanted to be. For me it meant family, friends, guidance, and affirmation. I wonder what experiences have nurtured you on your journey? In your bulletin you will find an insert that says “Sermon Notes.” I invite you to take this out and to ponder the questions under the section “entitled looking back.” If you don’t have a pen- I invite you to turn to a child in your midst that might have extra crayons hidden in their worship folders. Think back with me to your childhood: Did you attend church as a child?  If so- what was that experience like for you If not- why? Did you as a child ever question your family’s religious and/or lack of religious traditions? What key memories (positive and negative) help mold who you are as a Christian… your theology…. Your understanding of church and worship…

As I reflected on my childhood- I realized that there where also moments when I had negative experiences, events that caused me to doubt, question, and to be embarrassed, disappointed, or angry. One moment that will stand permanently etched in my mind is an experience that I had as a 4 year old… I’ll never forget the day that my family and I visited a church in Sugarland, TX. This church was an important place for my family. This is where my parents were married, and where I was baptized. During the service, the children were invited up for children’s time. I remember sitting on the steps with the other children, in between my sister and in clear view of the pastor. I remember the pastor innocently asking: “Do you grow in your sleep?” Being much like I am today, the know-it-all with the right answer, I quickly blurted out—“NO!!!!!” All I remember at this point (and I’ll admit after 24 years I’m sure it’s dramatized just a little bit) is the entire sanctuary erupting in laughter. I remember flying down the center aisle of the Sanctuary, with tears running down my face, back to the safety of my parents. From that moment that specific church was no longer a safe place for me. Whereas I always enjoyed going to my home church in Midland, I would continue to rebel and dislike going back to this Houston church. That experienced changed my view of that church. It was no longer safe, open, or welcoming.

Now this is just one example, one story from my childhood where I was embarrassed, laughed at, and discouraged. As you may have experienced— life events effect our faith—they either cause us to doubt or to be affirmed, to be ashamed or to be firm in our faith. Can you recall a moment when an experience made you question the safety of the church, caused you to doubt your faith, or caused you to retreat out of embarrassment or fear? In all of my readings, the one statement that stood out the most was given by an author who spent a significant amount of time with children, studying their spirituality and trying to gain a sense of this innate spiritual awareness. She found that by the age of 5 many children are embarrassed by their faith—either because they were shut down at one point in their journey (maybe they found the courage to answer a question in front of a group of people, maybe peers… only to be told that they were wrong), or because they do not have the “words” to express what they know to be true. I believe these are the moments that Christ is warning us about in today’s scripture. Christ reminds us that our job is to provide positive faith experiences for our children. We are called to provide a safe environment for children to wonder, to ask questions, and to seek the Holy One’s response. So how can we do this? How can the church nurture children’s spiritual awareness, how can we ensure that every child feels welcomed, loved, and appreciated by the community of faith?

In order to reach out to children, we must first claim the covenant we make at baptism: We will surround these children with a community of love that they may be true disciples who walk in the way that leads to life. The community is an essential part of every child’s faith journey. We are called to respect and acknowledge the truth and the importance behind each child’s experiences. We are encouraged to become aware of their awareness, affirming and guiding them as they begin to uncover, express, and live into what they know to be true. We are called to put our expectations aside, and to approach each child with an open mind, allowing the child to discover who and whose they are as a child of God. We can help children to become aware of their awareness by:  allowing them to wonder. This encourages children to affirm their awareness of God’s presence, and to reflect on their understanding of the holy. We also need to allow them to play. Learning through play gives child a chance to explore and experience the world around them. Finally, we are called to give the child language that helps them express what they know to be true. Now, a note of warning, when I talk about language, I’m not talking about “words about words…” it’s not about providing a specific “religious language” like doxology, narthex, pulpit, creed, etc. But instead, by modeling for children your faith, by sharing your faith story and your understanding of God, you are encouraging those children to share and to express their faith story.

We are called to be the bumpers that guide, encourage, and support children on their faith journey. This image reminds me of the bumpers that you can put out at bowling alleys to help you with your game. Have any of you been “bumper bowling” before? Well, I know for me that when those bumpers come out, I immediately have an increased sense of security and confidence. We know that children start this journey extremely innocent, open, and ready to embrace all that life has to offer. As they move down this path, trying to discern where God is calling them and who God is calling them to be, it is our role to help guide them on the journey. We are called to be the bumpers—to protect their innate spirituality, to increase their self confidence, to model discernment, and to encourage good choices. We are also called to keep the space open so that they can experience, navigate, and respond. It’s a tricky balance- how do we nurture and guide without being overbearing and resistant. When I was in sixth grade, my friend and I decided we were “too cool” for church choir… so we decided to skip practice. That night we hid in the girls bathroom feeling very rebellious… then in came our music director. Much to our surprise he actually came into the bathroom, led us out, and then—we held our breath, waiting for the lecture that was about to come—but he calmly took a deep breath, got down on eye level and said: “This is not acceptable—your parents expect you to be in choir—and that’s where you need to be…” then he took another breath and said… “In addition to that I need you in choir- you are the oldest kids, you’re the leaders, other kids look up to you… will you come to choir and help me?” This remains a pivotal moment in my childhood. In those few minutes, the choir director redirected us, reminded us of our responsibility and the right action, and then he turned around and showed us God’s grace. I remember walking back into choir feeling respected, encouraged, and affirmed in my ministry.

Our goal is to keep the space open so that children, no matter what they bring, are affirmed and shown God’s grace. We’re also called to keep the space open so that when they go astray there’s always a constant presence leading them back. In addition to nurturing the child, we’re called to see what children have to offer us… We have much to learn from the smallest members of the body of Christ. When we or someone we know loses hope, faith, and trust… children become our role models, and our guides. They show us how we can accept all that God has to offer, freely, without any inhibitions.

Working with the 3rd -5th graders on this service has been a tremendous blessing- they’ve helped me grow in my faith, their questions have challenged my understandings, and their comments have encouraged me and brought me to new revelations. We are blessed to be sitting in the midst of a congregation that welcomes, nurtures, and affirms children. However, our job’s not done. Matthew calls us to action, to look to the future, and to consider- how can we continue to be a safe place where all can come experience the faithful and loving presence of God? I invite you to turn back to your sermon notes inserts and to ponder the following questions: What church experiences do you hope for: Yourself… your family…  your friends… and for new members and visitors? I hope that your answers reveal your hopes, your calling, and your response to Christ’s commandments.

Over the past eleven years, working in some form of children’s ministries, I have spent many hours with children. They never cease to amaze me. Children are full of spiritual insight, trust, and faith. Every time I reach out to them, I walk away with so much more. It is my hope that as the body of faith we will continue to learn from each other. When we keep the space open, when we allow ourselves and our children to wonder, when we play, when we tell stories, and when we embrace the mystery of God, it is then that Christ’s presence is revealed. It is in these moments that we are able to embrace the strength, the faith, the trust, and the hope that we need to live as children of God.